Another petition

Hi everyone. There is another petition to sign. This one will be going to the VN government.

Please go to www.ipetitions.com/petitions/continue_vn_adoptions and sign the petition. Afterwards, it will ask for a donation, but you don't need to make one. The donation goes to ipetition and not to VN orphans.

Thank you!

Prayers

Right after my last post, I got bad news about a friend who is in dire need of some serious prayers. She, her husband and her 6 year old are in VN right now. They got a referral for a beautiful baby girl 7 months ago, but CIS would not approve the adoption. After 7 months, and the baby's one year bday, the family went to VN and adopted her. Now they are essentially stuck in VN, possibly for two years (at that point the US would HAVE to let them bring the baby to the US). At first the adoption agency was supportive of their decision to go to VN, adopt the baby and hire a lawyer. Now the agency is saying they should take the baby back to the orphanage b/c it doesn't look good. There have been families in similar circumstances who have been waiting 8 months and still don't have approval. Anyway, they could use your prayers. They plan to stay in VN as long as they can (i.e. as long as they have a valid visa and can afford to live there). And I sit here thinking, "What have I gotten myself into??!!"

Thankful

I am very thankful for all the people who are working hard to keep VN adoptions open and to make sure that they are ethical. Here's the latest updates from the JCICS page:

July 29. 2008

On Friday, July 26, 2008, Joint Council participated in a briefing of over 60 Congressional offices on issues related to international children’s services with particular attention to intercountry adoption in Vietnam and Guatemala.

The panel presented varying perspectives on the issues facing intercountry adoption in Vietnam and Guatemala. Regarding Vietnam the issue of a new Memorandum of Agreement (MOA), the impact of a potential moratorium, concerns over corruptive practices and the current referral process including those children and families who may not be referred were addressed in detail.

The panel also provided information to the Congressional offices on ways in which Congress can support international children’s services, maintain the viability of intercountry adoption as an important element in providing children with permanent families and advocating for their constituents seeking to adopt a child in need of a family.

Among a variety of suggestions, the panel asked the Congressional offices to advocate via individual letters, with the government of Vietnam to finalize a new MOA by September 1, 2008.

In addition to Joint Council President Tom DiFilipo, Lynn Song, Executive Director of Joint Council Member Organization Ethica Inc., Susan Cox, Vice-President of Holt International and Vice-Chairperson of Joint Council’s Board of Directors, along with Tom Atwood and Chuck Johnson, respectively President and Vice-President of the National Council For Adoption participated in the briefing. Joint Council extends its appreciation to the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute and the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Co-Chairs for coordinating the two-hour briefing and to all Congressional staff who chose to attend.

July 28, 2008

As reported in the VietNamNet Bridge, on July 25, the Vietnam National Assembly discussed Vietnam’s participation in the Hague Convention. The article reports that the Ministry of Justice suggested that the country establish a specific office to implement the convention, which would be responsible to the State for protecting children given up for adoption in foreign countries. The full article is posted below and can be found at VietNamNet Bridge.

Joint Council sees this open discussion by high level officials as evidence of Vietnam’s serious efforts to join the international community in adding needed protections for the families and children of Vietnam and as a positive indicator regarding a new and protective Memorandum of Agreement with the U.S.

Please sign

Please go to this site http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/Grandfather_All_Dossiers/ and sign the petition. Essentially if the VN government would agree to grandfather all dossiers (which they have said they will do if our government asks them to) then we could complete our adoption. The site asks for a donation, but you don't need to make one. Thanks everyone!

One guess

Here's the latest announcement from the Dept of State and JCICS:

"Prospective adoptive parents who have not received a formal referral by September 1, 2008, will have their dossier returned by the DIA to the adoption service provider

· A referral is considered formal when the DIA and provincial authorities have agreed to the match of a child to prospective adoptive parents and the prospective adoptive parents receive a letter from the DIA confirming the approval of the match

· Any referral formally issued to prospective adoptive parents and subsequently finalized by the Vietnamese government will be processed by the U.S. Embassy in Hanoi.

It is also our understanding that as of July 1, 2008, approximately 1,728 dossiers were filed by American prospective adoptive parents with the DIA. The DIA estimates that approximately 780 of the 1,728 dossiers will receive formal referrals by September 1, 2008. The approximately 950 dossiers that are not processed and matched by September 1, 2008, will be returned to the appropriate adoption service provider."

One guess which group we are predicted to fall into. That's right. . .we will be one of the 950 families who have to start over.

Letter

Here's a link to the letter to C. Rice. Thanks again to everyone who made phone calls and sent the letter.:)

http://www.jcics.org/vietnamadoption%20rice.pdf

And our number is. . . .

Okay, so our agency doesn't usually give out the number you are on the waiting for a referral list. . . probably because people like me stress about it. :) Anyway, they decided to give us our numbers at this time. Mind you, they have been saying they expect to get referrals for 24 more families. Our number? 25 of course! So here I sit cussing like a sailor!!!

Our only hope is that the prime minister of VN changes his mind and says that anyone who has their paperwork in VN on July 1 can complete their adoption. Come to find out, he did this for the French when their MOA expired. I know that the American government is perceived as being pushy and obnoxious, but come on. . .so are the French! If he did it for them, he should do it for us. Keep your fingers crossed!

Remember those phone calls and letters I asked you guys to write? Well, the letter was signed by about 150 congress people and sent to C. Rice. A copy was also sent to the prime minister of VN. Hopefully that will encourage him to change his mind! We should be receiving a copy of the letter soon, so I will post it when I get it.

On another note, I painted the guest room. Tell me the truth. . . is it too blue?

Could this be good news??

Hopefully this is good news and not just to look good politically. . . The VN and the US governments issued a joint statement on June 25:

"The President expressed his commitment to continue the development of inter-country adoption cooperation between the US and Việt Nam that ensures the best interests of the child, respects his or her fundamental rights, and prevents the abduction and trafficking of children. The Prime Minister underscored that Việt Nam shares these goals and stressed that Việt Nam will speed up preparations for an early accession to the Hague Convention on Inter-country Adoptions. The Prime Minister also welcomed US technical assistance in facilitating this step."

Quick update

I know. . .I have been a really bad blogger. I am now on summer vacation, so I should do better. . but I will probably do worse because I'll be visiting family, going to the beach, etc. It's a tough life, but someone has to do it!

As for the adoption, we sent in the money to log in. It's probably a waste of money, but at least we will be able to say we did everything possible to complete this adoption.

Katie Bug had her 2nd birthday. Her and Alisa get cuter everyday. I especially like talking to them, on the phone and in person, because I am fascinated by the things that come out of their mouths. They are both super smart, and act like little adults sometimes. Katie is finally saying Aunt Lisbeth after calling me Aunt Lis for long time. She calls Alisa "Eesa", which is so cute but drives Alisa crazy! Katie always says thank you when you give her something (without prompting!) which I think is amazing. She also apologizes if she steps on your foot or something ("Sorry Aunt Lisbeth"). So cute and so smart! She got a new swingset for her bday and her and Alisa have been playing on it 24-7. I just hope that Alisa doesn't jump from the roof of the swingset. . .she has tried several times. Her and Katie are both little monkeys!

Here are the latest pics of the nieces, as well as another new addition to the family. . . a kitty I got my mom named Miss Priss. She is totally living up to the name.

Heartbreaking

Recently we asked everyone we know to write letters on behalf of VN adoption. This article highlights why it is so important.

http://www.ipsnews.net/news.asp?idnews=42479

How you can help

The following initiative is SOOOO important for our adoption. Without the support of our government, our adoption will probably fall through and we will have to start over. Please especially read the "How you can help" section at the bottom. I will be creating a letter that I will happily forward to you. I can also send you the names of all representatives who you should contact. If you know anyone else who could help with this campaign, please feel free to copy this and send it on.
The more emails and phone calls, the better!

Lisbeth and Chris

May 21, 2008

Joint Council is pleased to announce A Child's Right Campaign for Vietnam. Please join us on June 2nd by contacting Members of Congress and urging them to join the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Co-Chairs and sign their letter to Secretary Condoleezza Rice in support of the recommendations found in "A Child’s Right Campaign for Vietnam.
”

A Pending Crisis

The U.S. Department of State has expressed concerns related to corruptive practices associated with intercountry adoption between the U.S. and Vietnam.

In response to their concerns, the Department of State will allow the functional closure of adoptions on September 1, 2008 and thereby end one of the most basic of human rights: the right to a safe, permanent and loving family.


Not only will those orphans eligible for adoption continue to suffer the detriments of orphanage life, so will thousands of other orphans and vulnerable children. This is because the service providers engaged in finding U.S. families for Vietnamese orphans also provide a myriad of services to the most vulnerable of children.


As a result, the end of intercountry adoption with Vietnam also brings the end of social services such as family preservation and counseling. It also marks the end of humanitarian services such as educational sponsorships, clean water programs and many health related initiatives.


End Corruption, Not a Child’s Right to a Family

While Joint Council shares in many of the Department of State’s concerns, we believe the solution is not the termination of adoption and elimination of a child’s right to a family. Joint Council, its Member Organizations, NGO’s including Ethica—a leading voice for ethical adoption, the Vietnamese government and Members of the United States Congress firmly believe that the solution is a rational child-centered approach designed to strengthen services, regulate providers and prosecute violators.


A Child’s Right Campaign for Vietnam

In response to the looming crisis facing the children of Vietnam, Joint Council today--May 21, 2008—initiates A Child’s Right Campaign for Vietnam. A Child’s Right Campaign for Vietnam proposes a series of rational recommendations that address the issues of abuse, protect the integrity of Vietnamese families and ensure the right of every child to a permanent, safe and loving family. The overriding goal of this campaign is very simple: to end corruption, but not a child’s right to a family.


As part of this campaign Joint Council delivered a letter to the Congressional Coalition on Adoption (CCA) Co-Chairs: Senator Mary Landrieu; Senator Norm Coleman; Congressman James Oberstar and Congresswoman Ginny Brown-
Waite requesting their immediate assistance. We have asked the CCA and all Members of Congress to support the recommendations found within A Child’s Right Campaign for Vietnam and to work with the Governments of the United States and Vietnam to ensure that an MOA is in place on September 1, 2008.


The Department of State has expressed intent to negotiate and implement a new MOA with the Government of Vietnam. Joint Council applauds the long-term goals of the Department of State, yet finds the short-term path unacceptable. It is clear that the intent is also to allow the current MOA to expire while seeking a new agreement sometime in the future.
By all estimates, the Department of State’s current path would result in the functional elimination of services, including adoption, for two years or more!

Finding such a scenario intolerable, we ask for your immediate support of this Campaign. The following page details how you can help us avoid this pending crisis. Only with your active participation will the children of Vietnam have a right to join a permanent, safe and loving family through ethical, professional and legal adoption.


On behalf of the orphaned and vulnerable children of Vietnam, those of us who work to serve their needs and the Joint Council on International Children’s Services, we extend our sincere appreciation for your coming efforts.


How You Can Help


1.Today, please read A Child’s Right Campaign for Vietnam at www. jcics. org

2. Send an email in support of A Child’s Right Campaign for Vietnam to advocate@jcics.org.




Send your email no later than May 30th.

Your email will be included in a petition to Congress.


3. On June 2nd, 3rd, or 4th, please contact your Congressional Representatives and Senators and ask them to support A Child’s Right Campaign for Vietnam.


a. Call both of your U.S. Senators and your representative in the U.S. House of Representatives.

· You can find your Senators’ phone numbers and email address at www. senate. gov

· You can find your Representatives’ phone numbers and email address at www. house. gov

b. Include the following in your calls and emails.

· “I/we urge the Senator/Congressperson to join the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Co-Chairs and sign their letter to Secretary Condoleezza Rice in support of the recommendations found in Joint Council’s A Child’s Right Campaign for Vietnam.
”

· If they have not heard about the Campaign, ask them to contact the Congressional Coalition for Adoption Institute at 202-544-8500 or Joint Council on International Children’s Services at 703-535-8045.


Send an email to everyone you called.

· The e-mail is important, but the phone call should be placed first.

Nail in the coffin

If you have been following the VN adoption updates on the DOS site, you know that things are bad. For those of you who don't follow this stuff on a daily basis, the Department of State has released a statement about all of the unethical things they have uncovered in VN adoptions. They go on to say that no dossiers will be accepted after July 1 and all dossiers without referrals will be returned to the agencies on Sept 1. That latter scenario is where we will fall. There is no way we will have a referral, so game over. In light of the accusations that the DOS has made, I feel like there is no way that VN won't close for a long time. The last closing was from 2003-2006. So we are back to the drawing board. Our agency has all our money and won't return it. They also do not have any open programs that they can switch us to. Rock. Hard place.

For those of you who don't know, this journey to try to add to our family has been going on for about 4 years. We did all the infertility stuff. Then we did all the adoption stuff. You come to a point where you question whether you are meant to have a child. That is where I am now. We could try to pursue adoption with Taiwan, but I don't think I can bring myself to invest thousands more in dollars and hours, and be disappointed again.

If we are meant to have a child, I guess it will eventually happen. I've done all I can. Now it is in God's hands.

No news is. . .

not good news in this case. When I don't write anything, it means I have nothing upbeat and positive to share.

We had a conference call with the adoption agency this week. We didn't really get any new information to share. Essentially, there are lots of people working tirelessly to address the issues in Vietnam, and in international adoption in general. There's talk in VN and the US of an interim agreement, of a very short closing of adoptions (about 4 months), and of continuing the process for anyone whose dossier is in VN at the time of closing. Any of those things would be good news for us, but it's all just talk right now.

The head of my adoption agency wrote a very good letter explaining the situation with international adoptions. I'll post that later because she is much more eloquent and knowledgeable than me.

As for the consideration of a concurrent adoption with Taiwan, I think we have decided against it. At this point, I feel like I have done so much to bring a child into our home. I guess I am just out of energy and have decided that what will be will be.

So that's where we are right now. Prayers and positive thoughts are still appreciated.

Here are the latest pics of the cute nieces. Today we saw the Chick Fil A cow and Katie LOVED him. She must have hugged him 20 times. Too cute!

Taiwan Lucy

Here's a video a family made while waiting on their little girl from Taiwan. . . just in case you need a good cry today!

S T R E S S!!!

I am feeling extremely stressed out by recent events.

First, last night I noticed that furry baby, Cammie, had a swollen cheek. Over the course of the night, kitty scratched his face and burst the abscess (as it now has been identified). We had a lovely evening with kitty bleeding all over the place. I got up at 7 am today and spent the entire day finding a vet that could fit kitty in (regular vet couldn't be bothered--don't even get me started on that!), taking him to the vet, giving him meds, cleaning the wound. . . you get the picture. And it looks like the poor baby will have to have surgery next week. This fact has me stressing because Cammie has herpes virus. I won't go into all the details, but it essentially means that he is immunologically compromised, and so whenever we have to deal with shots or surgery, his body does not react well. Right now he is zonked out beside me on the bed. He is probably bleeding on the sheets, but I can't bring myself to bother the poor thing.


In addition to the stresses of cat ownership, I am dealing with adoption stress. Chris and I have found out that we got into a program for Taiwan. It is a really good program and could mean that we could have a referral in 6-12 months. Yippee! So what's the problem, right? Well, the program is a little more expensive and we already have lots of money tied up with Vietnam that we cannot get back. We are toying with the thought of beginning the Taiwan program while staying in the Vietnam program, and then completing whichever program gets us a referral first. It's a lovely idea, but since we are not wealthy, it is going to be financially stressful. If we do this, we will be consciously deciding to lose at least 6k bucks. Of course, we kinda feel like we have already lost that to the Vietnam program since we are not optimistic about completing the adoption. Does all that make sense? I think I am babbling. To sum it all up, we know that God has a plan for our adoption, but right now it seems like his plan is for us to be really poor.

As a mull over this huge decision, I get a phone call from dear hubby. To give you some background, we found out two weeks ago that hubby is essentially being laid off from his job of 11 years. So now he calls me and is telling me that he may have an interview and can I help him type up a resume. I realize this could be very good news, but you know how your body cannot really distinguish between good and bad stress? Yeah, right now my body and mind are on total overload.

Ok, so it was cathartic to get that all out. If you are still reading this, thanks for hanging in there. Two bits of good news: the sun is finally coming out after 10 days of rain, and Cammie didn't get any blood on the bed. :) Oh, BTW. . .our niece, Alisa, is 6 years old today. Happy Birthday B.B.! We love you!!!

Update

This last week has been a long one. My adoption agency had a conference call on Tuesday, and then I spoke with the head of the agency again on Thursday. Of course it is necessary that I stay in touch with the agency and know what is going on, but every contact seems to stress me out. I do so much better when I distract myself with other things, and don't think about the adoption stuff!

As for the update, everything is pretty much the same. Our dossier (adoption paperwork) is in VN, but we still won't get a referral by Sept. 1 which means we will be shut out. The main purpose of this week's conference was to discuss the fact that the fees will have to be increased since adoptions are taking so long.

The only real positives out of the conversation seemed to be that 1) the US and VN have done a few things lately that communicated that they are trying to "play nice" and 2) there has been talk on the US side about an interim agreement. The interim agreement might be the saving grace for us, so I am really hoping that happens.

One thing that I have to say about this whole situation is that I am really glad that my adoption agency is being honest with us. Sometimes they tell us truths that hurt, but I would rather know the truth. I am forever reading adoption blogs online. I know of several blogs where the authors sent their paperwork to VN around the same time as us. They are still under the impression that they are not going to get shut out of VN. I don't know if their agencies don't have the correct information to share with them (my adoption coordinator is in constant contact with the head of adoptions in VN, and has the most up-to-date info), or whether their agencies are hiding the truth from them. I just know that it would be very painful to have thought we were okay for months, and then to be closed out in Sept. I would rather see the train coming!

Well, that's it for now. We could use all of your prayers and positive thoughts!

Dossier to Vietnam

I got an email from my agency. They have my dossier and are sending it out to be translated. At one time this would have made me so happy. Now, not so much.

It is very unsure as to whether Chris and I will ever bring home a baby from Vietnam, but you can help others bring their babies home. You can read all about it at http://www.bringourchildrenhome.org/601.html. I encourage you to sign the petition at http://www.ipetitions.com/Petition/AmericansforVietnamOrphans. The petitions site will ask for a donation, but you don't have to give one (it benefits the petition site and not Vietnam orphans) and your signature will be recorded regardless of whether you donate.

Absent blogger

Yes, I have been absent from the world of blogging for quite some time. The reason for that? Essentially, I have had no positive updates and didn't want to bring the world down with me. My friend Shanna seems to think that blogging could be therapeutic. Come to think of it, I do recommend journaling to counseling clients, so maybe I should take my own advice!

On the adoption front, Vietnam is closing and we will not be far enough along in the process to proceed with the adoption. To further complicate matters, our agency does not have any open countries that we can switch to. We got into the Taiwan program with another agency, but our current agency is holding our money. In fact, they just sent out an email requesting donations. They need $800,000 to stay afloat. Not to be pessimistic, but that seems like a lot of money for them to expect people to donate. . . . not very realistic. At this point, I am thinking that the 10k we have spent towards this adoption is down the tubes. Add that to the 10k we spent on fertility treatment and you get one very unhappy Chris and Lisbeth!

People keep asking me what I am going to do, so I will just make it clear for everyone right now. I HAVE NO IDEA. I am usually a person of action, but right now I don't see any paths to take. Instead, I am burying my head in the sand. I am avoiding all adoption blogs at all costs, and I'm just trying to keep busy with fun activities. I feel like the entire situation is out of my hands, and I am just going to do my best to enjoy life.

Here's some recent pics of us enjoying life:




And here's some of the latest pictures of my adorable nieces:


My nieces are in the blue and green plaid dresses. Notice Katie's frownie face in the first pic (far left). She is too funny!
The other children in the pictures are all from China and Vietnam, and are part of Alisa and Katie's playgroup.

Picture woes

We are having picture issues. First of all, adding pictures to the blog has not been going so well. Everytime I go to add pictures, I get the "spinning candy" ,as I call it (that's the technical term folks. . . hope you can keep up with my highly technical computer lingo). I wait and wait for the pic to download, and then get bored and move on to something else. Maybe one of these days, I will actually be patient enough to download the pictures.:)

Also, along the picture train of thought, I am in the process of getting pictures together for the dossier. I know that this doesn't sound like a difficult task, but it is proving to be. I take TONS of pictures. Really, you should see the number of photo albums that I have. And yet I am having a hard time coming up with pictures of everyone. This difficulty is due in part that my DH's side of the family is HUGE and we are limited in the number of photos we can send in. So I am trying to track down pictures that have as many family members in them as possible. Also, adding to the difficulty is the fact that my sister has not taken a picture in years.

In general, DH and I are thrilled with the dossier process (not really). First of all, how fun to get medical forms completed AGAIN, and fingerprints completed AGAIN. My sister never understood why my agency asked for that stuff when we turned in the application. Now I understand because all that stuff is going to be too old for the dossier, so we have to get them done for a second time. Also, we are both a bit stressed about the check that gets mailed in with the dossier. We just wrote a really big check and very soon we will be writing another even bigger check. Gulp!

Forgot my password

So I went to login tonight and realized that I had forgotten my password. . .could that mean that I am being super slack about blogging? That is exactly what it means!

The notarized homestudy came in the mail and looks good. We also sent in the first of the big ole checks, so we are now waiting on the dossier packet. I am ready to get it all done so that we can be on the waiting list for a baby!:)

Speaking of babies, my friend Deb just had her little girl. She is so cute and perfect. I am so happy for Deb b/c she is one of my infertility buddies. She waited a long time, and went through a lot, for this little gift from heaven.:)

I know that blogs without pics are boring, so now I am going to try to add some pics. Wish me luck!



Success. . . here's a pic of Deb's beautiful baby girl!

Fingerprint appt

Hubby and I travel to Charlotte day after tomorrow for our fingerprint appt. Also we received an email stating that our homestudy report should be coming to us for our approval any day now. So I guess we are on our way. I am already getting impatient. I have a feeling that I am going to be very bad at this waiting thing. I keep reading blogs about families who have been waiting two years for their babies. AGHH! And I am so worried about Vietnam closing. It was closed for several years and only just reopened in 2006. I hope it doesn't close again!
On other topics, Christmas was lovely although very busy. Yesterday we took down Christmas decorations and today we have to tackle the tree. The taking down part is just no fun! I will try to figure out how to post pics from Christmas.



The adorable nieces on Christmas!